Ire: Southie / Northie

Logo for Ire, the series on my blog for social commentary

Everyone from the four southern states is Madrasi,

Making no distinction between Tamilian, Telugu, Kannadiga or Malayali,

Everyone dresses in a dhoti, no, only a dhoti,

Baring the chest for everyone to see,

They all have idly-dosa with sambar-chutney,

And wash it down with mor, “what’s that, oh, salted lassi,”

They also can’t live without filter kaapi,

Along with that other staple, naariyal paani,

You wish for once they’d see things differently,

Beginning with how now Telangana is also an entity.

/

But the South behaves no differently,

Viewing everyone outside the five states as Northie,

There’s no West – the Marathi or the Gujarati,

“All Bombay, filmy, money-money,”

No East – Bengali, Odia, Jharkandi,

“We know Bengal, but what are the others, some festivity?”

No North-East: “Chinky!”

No North-West: “Same as Delhi?”

So, forget the real North, and Bihar, UP, MP,

“We already said – Northie!”

/

But all agree about Goa, which lies around Karnataka’s belly,

“Videshi… Pardesi… Now, let’s get there and party!”

 /

And what about Lakshadweep and Andamans in the sea?

“Wait, didn’t they get submerged by the tsunami?”

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