Graphic of dog peeing with its right hind leg lifted

Piss and Sequel

In ‘Piss and Tell‘, I expressed my exasperation at the futility of talking about dog cruelty to someone who doesn’t even know the gender of the puppy. So, I thought I should begin with educating them. Here then is the sequel…

When it comes to a puppy,

Telling a he

From a she

Is quite simple, you see.

When it goes to pee,

Follow it, you’ll see –

Lifts leg? He.

Squats? She.

/

And if you want to confirm doubly,

Lift it, look closely,

You’ll see –

Tiny wee below? He.

Two ’oles behind? She.

/

And if all this is making you go, “Shee!”

Hey, you’re the dog dummy, not me.

Composite image of a graphic black sheep with a heart in the background

Animal-Friendly Nursery Rhymes: ‘Rah, Rah, Black Sheep’

Baa, baa, black sheep,

Have you any wool?

Let it be on me, sir,

Shearing is cruel.

So, what about the master, the dame,

And the little boy who lives down the lane?

They can wear poly fleece, you know,

It warms just the same.

Yes, I know some of these already exist, but like so many writers retell Shakespeare’s works and the epics, this is my retelling. And so, more coming up…