Graphic of a hand swiping right

Swipe. Right.

Keep swiping right

With all your might –

You’ll get someone

Only when your timing is right.

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A shattered glass pane in the shape of a heart with the figure 2 superimposed on it

Heartbreak High 2

Lover.

Loser.

Same thing.

Heartbreak.

Break-up.

One way or the other,

The heart breaks up.

Break-up.

When the love of your life

Becomes the strife of your life.

Close-up of a digital alarm clock, shrouded in the dark, about to strike 5

Villain No. 1

Monday gets it hard from us. Abuses. Rants. Wishes of killing it if it were a person. Ok, it’s not all bad – there are the memes, you know.

But there’s something that gets it worse from us than Monday. That too, every day. Ok, perhaps not the weekend days. The alarm clock. It gets slammed, bammed and occasionally, even hurled (even in its smartphone avatar), with no thank you ma’m / Sam for doing its job.

Just think of it. Monday gets hated just one day a week. The alarm clock, five or six times that. Man, it might actually be envying Monday. There, Monday, you found your bright side.

A couple of toast slices just having popped out from a toaster

Jottings | Nice and Warm

Thak! The toasts pop out. I clench the spring tongs and pull out one and place it on the plate. I proceed to pull out the other. The second slips from the tongs and falls back into the toaster, settling back in just the way I had placed the raw slice. It must like the warmth in there. After all, it’s winter.

Illustration of a male jogger stepping out the door with an oversized brain chained to his foot

Jogging Through My Mind

Regular brisk-walker / jogger

“Damn. I can just run clockwise or anti-clockwise. I should just go back to the roads…”

Female brisk-walker / jogger

“Damn. I run with the crowd, they see my swaying ass. I run against them, they see my bouncing boobs. I should have worn something loose…”

Male brisk-walker / jogger

“Eww. I run with the uncles, I see bulging moobs. I run against them, I see lardy asses. Thank god for the odd female…”

Graphic of man tanning himself at the beach

Jottings | Tan Man

I like the heat, presently stay in Chennai, and don’t mind getting tanned. (I must also be the only person in Chennai writing that line.) So, I go for a walk / jog in the morning sun, and sometimes, especially in summer, for a swim. Thanks to all this, my body is currently tri-coloured: red earth-like face (which is the most exposed to the sun, after my hands, but my hands are Anil Kapoor-hairy and so ward off the rays); brown sand-like body, which is exposed less when walking / jogging but more when swimming; and white sand-like butt, which is obviously not exposed when swimming (and no, I have never gone skinny-dipping). So, I presently look like a multi-layered ice lolly. I just hope, also as delicious.